FIRST BLOG ALERT!!!
So I am making a pledge right now, as a matter of fact, I
have my right hand held up and my left hand placed loyally on my chest. Please
don’t ask me how I manage to write since my both hands are busy… trust me, it
can be explained, so take a chill pill.
Back to my pledge, I am making a pledge to always write
about the truth, no matter how crazy, emotional, shitty or intriguing it might
get, I will always dish the truth to you on a platter of this blog space.
Relationships and Emotional issues for me have never been
one to joke about… oh I will joke alright while I write, but never with the
intent to hurt anyone, so still, the undiluted sincere helpful, possibly
lifesaving message will be passed across off course to those of us with functional
ears not antennas, lol!
When I was about 10 years old, I got what would be one of my
first relationship advice from dear Mum. It went this way…
Mum: Chizy
Chizy: Yes Mum. (We would never say Yes Ma like other kids
because dear Mum hated to be called Ma by her kids. So she went…)
Mum: If any Man comes close to you RUN! Don’t even give him
the chance to touch you because men are dirty liars and Bad!
Chizy: Ok Mum
Mum: it’s not about saying “Ok Mum”… Infact if any man
touches you anywhere run to me and report him immediately, you hear me?
Chizy: Mum are all men really Bad?
Mum: Yes! A lot of them
Me: Silent
Yes, my silence ended the ‘convo’ as dear Mum stood up to
get dinner served. Little did dear Mum realize that those little piece of
advice would form the personality and general behavior of her Dear daughter
towards men for all of her teenage life and early adulthood.
Needless to say that it became a more regular pattern of
advice from dear Mum as I went from 10 to 11, 12, 13years and above. A lot of
them, including how all every man want sex with you and could get you pregnant!
It started to scare the crap out of me. A “hello” from any man, say from about
then on sounded like “Hell is on” or something… whatever that means… everything
a man said to me sounded like it had a hidden motive attached to it so I did
what I felt was the best… I blocked my heart from believing anything a male
classmate, church member or friend said to me… infact when “chickers” from way back told me I love you! I almost immediately
run for my dear life, since what I heard was “I just want sex from you and
right after that I will dump your sorry as!” True! It was exactly what I thought
and sometimes… worse, especially if he goes on to buy me gifts and shows up
over and over again with gestures of affections, this time I would usually tell
myself “oh! This guy is really damn serious to destroy me! I should say hurtful
things to him to keep him far! far! away from me,” then I go into my head and search on my big
book of wisdom for handling men and would usually come up with things like, “look
here, you are just deceiving yourself not me, you think you can get me with all
these tricks? I know you men and what you want, unfortunately for you I don’t
have what you want and even if I do, I won’t give you! So please go and find
who you can deceive I am so not available! Weirdo right? Na you sabi, me, I
didn’t care then o, infact after such eloquent chastising from me to whom it
may concern, I congratulate myself for a job well done and walk away with my
head held high. In my mind right then, I am thinking dear Mum, should have seen
me in action today! Infact, I knew she was super proud of me and she would be
if she had been there with me.
This lifestyle I lived how did it all work out for me? Good?
Bad or both? More on this will come your way soon…
Note: Dear Mum today is now a grandmother and I, a Mother…
far away from her now with/in my own family.
I am not sure what you will make out of this but I am sure
there’s something in this for everyone.
You want to know about the woman I finally became? More of
my stories and a whole lot more on life/love/emotional issues? Make this Blog a home for you!
.
See you soon
Love
Chizy
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